Back
by lrigD
Summary: Ziva thinks about the last few days and what it means to her. A tag to episode 7x01 Truth or Consequences, so spoilers!


_**Oh. My. God. **_

_**I am so ridiculously hyper right now, after watching 7x01. I mean... best episode ever. Seriously. **_

_**I feel like no amount of fanfic will ever do this episode justice, but I also feel like I just **_**should_ write something about this episode. _**

**_So... Spoilers, even though they may be kinda vague, especially at the beginning. And it isn't mine. And I don't want it to, because I could never write episodes as amazing as this one!  
_**

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_Back_.

The word reverberated through her mind. What did it mean?

_Home?_

She did not have a home anymore. She had been dragged to so many places, she had seen so much, that there was no place she could truly call home, not even her birth country, and not even the country where she had formed the closest bonds.

There was no telling how long this would last, either. Changes defined her life: in a few years time, she could be on the other side of the globe, chasing Chinese secret agents in Cambodia: she could be in the Mongolian desert, trying to eliminate the cartel leader there.

But never, _never_ had she felt she wanted to stay more than right now.

She had always searched for adventure; when she had just entered Mossad, she had begged her father to allow her to go on a secret mission in Brazil. She had always volunteered to go to the worst places on earth; the places with danger lurking in literally every corner. Her father had been pleased with her, and she had seen something of the world, she had found out about it workings.

Money. Power. Revenge.

Those were the three main reasons for any mission, personal, regional, national or otherwise. It was comprehensible. You could break up the missions in tiny pieces, and then, in the end, it all came together on one big heap, and you were able to see the picture in it.

Except for this one.

None of the three reasons explained why Tony had came for her. Why he, McGee and Gibbs had faced danger on the other side of the world, in a country they knew next to nothing of, saving _her_.

She did not want to think about the truth serum he said he had running through his veins when she had asked him that very question. _'Cannot live without you, I guess.' _The implications of those words ran far beyond of what she had foreseen.

She had been ready to die in that place. She had faced herself and her fate, and had come to accept it. Maybe it was the way this was supposed to go. Maybe G-d had decided that there was just no more use to keep her on this planet. Maybe it was just a sheer meeting of coincidences. She did not know; but at that time, she had not cared. She had managed to let go of all of her regrets. In all the time she had had, she had been able to relive her best moments, as well as her worst, and she had seen what had to happen.

And then he had come, and she had had to change everything she had thought of. A chance to make right everything she regretted, a chance to have _new_ best moments.

He had turned her life upside down like he had done before. Once again, he had managed to destroy her carefully built up façade in a matter of moments, with a few words and looks. Like he had done before. No doubt, he would do it again.

It did not answer the question _why_. Maybe she was not supposed to find the answer to that particular question yet.

After all, she had more time now. Until the next mission...

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_**Kind of wrote without a plan, which explains why it goes from one concept to another, and ends way differently than it started out. Didn't beta it, and I'm not native English, so that explains the mistakes I probably made.**_

_**Now... Nobody I know watches NCIS, which really sucks. And I can tell my mother, but she won't be able to talk back (she is still watching season 4 or so on TV, they're horribly behind here). So... any volunteers? **_

_**Please review. I am desperate for commentary on the episode as well as the one-shot I wrote!  
**_


End file.
